To write a thesis = to learn about yourself

Today I set myself the task to re-write the chapter on different theories about rhetorical reading and imitatio. I had already written quite a few pages on Quintilian, Corbett and Kock, and now was the time to paste it all together and see what kind of structure I could make of it.

Not an impossible task - and especially a task appropriate on a Monday following a week packed with social events (we're talking two weddings and a meet-the-parents-dinner).

Alas! I have spent the morning thinking about why I couldn't re-write the chapter. And THAT wasn't impossible at all:

1. I hate re-writing. Simple as that. Why? Because when you write something for the first time, you can let your thoughts wander off to the paper, think it over, over and over, turn it up-side down and let your writing follow the pace of your head. It's a dance between fingers and thoughts, and it's exciting whether it's an Argentinian Tango or a Quickstep. But when you re-write, so look at something you've already thought. It's yesterday's news, pal. You've moved beyond that point, to new shores loaded with new ideas.

It's got to do with my goals. Right now, my goal is to learn via my writing this thesis. But eventually, my goal have to become handing in the thesis - and my readers won't care if I didn't learn something every day of the writing process. They will want a readable and academic piece of writing.

But what do you do when your nature is that of a teacher? Do something exciting, but not necessarily perfect today - and then something new again tomorrow.

2. I have become addicted to a little help from my friends. Throughout our education, rhetoricians spend a lot of time giving feed back. On texts, on speeches, on presentations, on voices. So to me, feed back is as natural a step in the writing process as it is to turn on my Mac. But who wants to read, re-read and re-re-read an 80 pages thesis?